People of Walmart

The two kids that started the "People of Walmart" website are funny boys, and will likely make some advertising cash off of their website. Go to http://peopleofwalmart.com/ to see it. A lot of media attention, both good and bad, has been focused on this new website, with some who think it is hilarious and some who think it is mean spirited and even slanderous. I'm in the former group.


If you live here in Bastrop, some of the folks pictured on their site may look familiar to you, especially the mulleted photos. Surprisingly, no photos identified as being from our Bastrop Walmart have made it to the website. That's probably because the lighting at the Bastrop Walmart is so dim and poor that you can't take a picture in there.

I've been in other Walmarts recently, particularly those in Rockport and Fredericksburg, and those sparkling clean and well-lit Walmarts bear little if any resemblance to our dark, dank, gloomy and often filthy Walmart. Maybe our Bastrop store needs to bring in the cleaning and lighting crews from these other Walmarts to make our store a nicer place to shop. I'm more likely to spend money in some place that's not giving me the heebie jeebies because it's so dark and grimly lit.

You'll know it when you see a picture of a Bastropian on this new website. Likely, they'll be tattoo'd wonders replete with Bastrop Bad Hair. Not all people with tattoos have Bastrop Bad Hair, and not all Bastropian Bad Hair wearers have tattoos, but often those two worlds do collide.

I recall a story from when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were staying in the county while filming "Tree of Life" in Smithville last year.

Angelina and her kids went shopping at our dark and dim Walmart. One of our friends was up there shopping, and spotted Angelina and her kids shopping. A deputy sheriff employee was nearby shopping also, and our friend remarked to the deputy how exciting it was to have a little Hollywood right here in Bastrop. The deputy smirked and said something like "Is that who that is? Angelina Jolie, the movie star? I thought she was just another tattoo'd Bastrop chick with a lot of kids".

I'm guessing most of the people you'll see on the People of Walmart website won't resemble Angelina, or Brad Pitt. But many of our tattoo'd residents could give Angelina a run for her money if you're counting the number of visible tatts they sport.

And of course, as we all know, the mullet is alive and well in Bastrop. Even on women. I saw two women dining last night at the Roadhouse sporting female mullets.

Hey, 1982 is calling for you two ladies, and they left a message. 1982 wants it's hairstyles back. Stat.

Here's the 411 on the guys who started the People of Walmart website from the about us section of their website. And remember, as my friend and sage advisor R.J. MacReady would say, "SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!".

People of Walmart was founded in August of 2009 by three friends and roommates after an inspirational trip to WalMart.
Let’s face it; we all have seen the people who obviously don’t have mirrors and/or family and friends to lock them in a basement, and they all seem to congregate at Walmart. It’s not everywhere that you can shop for milk at 10 a.m. next to a 400lb mother of 6 wearing a pink tube top, leopard tights, and hooker heels. Where else can one go to pick up underwear at 3 O’clock in the afternoon and spot the greatest mullet of all time paired with a mustard stained wife beater (which only accents the extreme amount of body hair) and camo pants that were actually used in Vietnam. And if you haven’t run into the 6’2” bull-dyke with a shaved head, rockin a wonder bra, flannel cutoff shirt, and jean shorts at 2 a.m. when you’re there to pick up frozen pizza, chips, and cookies, then you can get the fuck out right now.
This is purely for entertainment purposes and strictly limited to the outrageously bad / ugly / creepy / crazy shoppers. We don’t need to see pictures of you and your dumb friends dicking around at Walmart. There is no reason to send us pictures of people that are seriously and unfortunately handicapped so don’t be an asshole. We are trying to have some fun here and there is a difference between someone who is mentally challenged and a person who has a fu Manchu and is still rocking MC Hammer pants.
We would also like to stress that we are in no way liable if you get your ass beat by Bubba when he catches you taking his picture. Have fun, and Enjoy!
- AJK, ADK, LDW